so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
