My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
