That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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