therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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