11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
