im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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