the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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