you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Never joke about your clitoris.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
