Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
