Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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