Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
