Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Who died my cat blue again?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
