When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
