IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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