She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it glows. i had to have it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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