I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
