i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
