doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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