what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
