is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize