Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
