so that wasnt chicken after all
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
