I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize