I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
