the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize