stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
