Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
