I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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