i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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