I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
