I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
