your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
