Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
