he puts the penis in happiness.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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