just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
