You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
