oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
