Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
