so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
