She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
