How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
