Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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