I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
