He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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