why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
