he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
