sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
