Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
