The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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