when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
