she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize