FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
