I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
