bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
