I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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