I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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