I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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